Alternative Armies: The Pragmatic Oldhammerer

In a way, we of the oldhammer movement have been the authors of our own rare-figure demise. By setting up a movement glorifying the good old days, and then blogging about that movement, we've created a situation where any muppet can find some old lead in his attic, google the thing, determine that he has the only remaining instance of that figure on earth, and price it accordingly on eBay.

Specifically, I am interested in Jaeckel's attempts to correct the balance by promoting figures he's not interested in, in order to reduce prices (and increase availability) of those he is.

Looking at the Goblobber listed above, I can see why.

Unfortunately, I don't believe the answer necessarily lies this way (because I want to collect things he's promoting, mainly!). One answer is not to blog about old figures anymore. Certainly, now that I've collected the whole Lichemaster set, I have already started collected another 'set'. I'm not going to tell you what it is, though, until its complete. Astute collectors might be able to guess where I'm going as I make contact with them, but you, good reader, will be left in the dark. Not because I don't like you - I very much want to share my collecting joys and woes with you - I just don't want to pay £100 for a figure if I don't have to, and not all readers are reading this with my budget in mind.

So lets talk about other manufacturers. This year, I've made some purchases from other figure companies (Yeah - FU GW!) - it makes a nice change not having to hunt for figures on eBay - you can just pop them in the basket and click 'buy' - and the prices are reasonable.

I've been specifically looking at alternatives for Rogue Trader. RT is a fun game, but having grown up with my feet firmly rooted in fantasy, its not something I've found myself willing to spend tons of money on, especially as I have a special fondness for Chaos Renegades - not exactly the most widely available of RT figures around.

Inspired by Coop's Rogue Trader game at the Oldhammer Bring Out Your Lead! 2013 event coming up, I ended up getting hold of the Nox Command over at Alternative Armies:

Back

Front

Banner

Er...bloke pointing?

...and bloke not pointing

Comparison to Citadel Chaos Renegades.

An example of what can be achieved with the Ion Age range from Alternative Armies (src: Pil from Lead Adventure Forum)

Unfortunately, there are only six Nox figures from which to choose, making a whole legion a little samey, but its a place to start. One could start converting Retained Knights, or converting other elvish troops to get the same look - I'll have to look into that later.

Also, whereas I think the Retained Knights do have much of the character of space marines, I think the Chaos Renegades are much more characterful than the Nox troopers. It is unfortunate that the Nox are somewhat larger than the Renegades, which makes mixing the two... well, hard.

Fleshing out the force in other ways (that don't match the army lists perfectly, unfortunately, but somehow I find myself coping), I also want to explore EM-4-Miniatures - specifically their Phagon Beastmen. Pil, legend that he is, provides some insight into their appearance here.

I've spent some cash over at Hasslefree as well, but that's fantasy related, so it gets another post later.

More Tactical Painting

Now I'm a guy and if you're reading this, you're probably a guy as well, right? I'm safe in this assumption because oldhammer is surely the very richest cream of an already elite variety of nerd. Don't believe me? How many people alive actually know the story about the Dragon Company?

See what I mean?

And it seems fair to me based on my experience that if you're interested in elitist nerd activities, you're probably a guy.

Back to the emotions. Now that we've established that you and I are both gentlemen, we can further assert that emotions are therefore unwelcome. Need a hug? Go see your mom. Need a game? Now we're talking. Need a rubdown with some oil? Er...okay. Maybe not that last one.

So, having read my last post again, I want to apologise for the emotional content. I was depressed and needy. Having tracked down every lichemaster figure, my life was suddenly devoid of purpose. I guess I'll just have to focus on raising my daughter or something now.

Anyway, in spite of my rollercoaster emotions, there was still time for many things.

First up, I've been painting. Not Lichemaster. Not goblins. Not chaos. Not even undead.

Plastic halberdiers from Battlemasters.

Let me explain. A little while ago, I discussed exactly how far taking some already painted miniatures and just rebasing and washing them got me. I described this approach as 'tactical'. It essentially changed the entire direction of my painting efforts, throwing the successful completion of my Undead army into disarray and confounding my efforts to further develop my Chaos army.

That didn't matter, because I was going to get goblins. And I loves me some goblins.

So that's one part - knowing that getting some reasonably painted figures would get me further along then if I started from scratch.

The second part was that for some unknown reason, I suddenly became very interested in dungeoneering. No, I don't think its  a word either, but if you can use Slaanesh in a sentence, you can probably use dungeoneering, so bear with me. Actually, now that I think about it, everyone else would call it dungeon crawling. I've always been taken with dungeoneering, both from my D&D days and from GW's own Warhammer Quest. Given that Warhammer Quest tends to sell in the region of £150 on eBay, I decided to start building my own. And, of course, what that needs primarily is a party of adventurers.

I've already built the adventuring party, but I will reveal them as they are painted, because that we don't want to see more pictures of unpainted stuff, right?

The third part was that I started thinking about a scenario, which led to me thinking about a potential game and battle report where I could use my goblins against this adventuring party. Whilst that would tell a good story, it then crossed my mind that it wasn't big enough. I wanted bigger. I needed to get another army in a hurry. Just the start - the same as the plastics in my goblin force, to help the army start. That new army could then host the adventurers - you know, when they weren't off actually adventuring.

That led me to eBay, where I was searching for cheap 'goodies' that had already been painted. I stumbled across a a huge plastic lot with some painted halberdiers and a whole herd of the creatures from Warhammer Quest, so that was a total win for about £10. I liked the monopose plastics and I thought they would compliment the monopose goblins I had. Quaint, but true. And I thought they were oldhammery enough (for me) to qualify, popping into existence in 1992, I believe.

Unfortunately, the halberdiers were so dreadfully painted that there was absolutely no salvation for them. All my plans for a quick wash and base evaporated the minute I opened the box. Too late, though - I was a man possessed - I must have this battle. They would have to spend some quality time with my good friend Dettol, after which I would have to repaint them. My tactical plans had fallen through and I needed to get these chaps painted in a hurry, because I needed them off my painting table so I could continue my strategic painting.

Of course, your rational mind (the same one that compels you to say things like 'I wouldn't do that...' or 'that was stupid...' to movie characters) is nagging you with a question: Gaj - why don't you just put the halberdiers over there and then put your strategic painting back here, where you can complete it according to your well formed and thought out plans? They're your halberdiers. You can do what you like with them. No one is making you paint the halberdiers, after all.

I don't know. I'm tired. My daughter's energy levels are only increasing, whilst mine leak from my exhausted body, leaving no capacity for rationale.

All I do know, however, is that fifteen of the buggers are done, which is just acceptable enough to my OCD engine to allow me to move onto some members of the adventuring party, which weren't part of my strategic painting but now are (as opposed to the halberdiers, which are strictly tactical).

Anyway, to make a long story short, I ended up painting the halberdiers in very simple colours - selected to allow easy painting and washing as opposed to any real aesthetic.

I think they turned out okay.

To Blog or Not to Blog

I found myself pondering the lifecycle of a blog today.

This comes in the wake of the news that Coop Devil, erstwhile proprietor of the 80s northern culture* blog FightingFantasist - a name you will no doubt be familiar with - deciding to throw in the towel. Its not that I've suddenly discovered this fact - I noted the posting on the 19th when it happened. 

But as I've been struggling to get around to blogging - and things only seem to be getting harder and harder - I confess that throwing in the towel has seemed like a tempting option. 

Lets put that aside for now - first things first. 

Warhammer For Adults started as a direct result of two events, one spawning from the other. The first event was my reading this post on FightingFantasist. Coop showed me that someone could actually walk away from Games Workshop. Sounds weird now that I think about it, but it was almost as if someone had to show me physically how such a thing was done, because I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. His courageous(?) move galvanised me into action that night, leading to the second event. I declared open rebellion against 8th edition and returned to my little safe inner happy child - a child now equipped with google. That enabled me to find Thantsant's remarkable Impasse at Ortar Pass - the first 3rd edition battle report I had seen ever. 

It must have been about a week later that Warhammer For Adults crawled out of the tarpit. 

So, Coop Devil, we here at Warhammer For Adults salute you and bid you fond farewell. 

Now of course, its not like he's dead or anything. You will be able to meet Coop at the upcoming Bring Out Your Lead 2013! event occurring later this year, where he's kindly offered to run a game of Rogue Trader. Its just that he's elected to vacate the internet.

As to my own thoughts regarding throwing in the towel, at this stage, I'm still happy to coast along for now. I think something has changed in that the original purpose of the blog was to evangelise 3rd edition, help me find players and allow my to vent my wrath about the considerable betrayal of trust that I think 8th edition is. 

As it stands, there is a whole oldhammer movement that has been gaining ground at an astonishing rate, suggesting that the business of trying to convince people to play older editions (or - at least - current editions like adults) is happening all over the place. Evangelism doesn't seem to be as necessary as it was two years ago. 

With regards to finding players, well, that's going alrightish**. Right on my doorstep is Andre, player and writer for this blog. Heading slightly further afield, we have Justin and Goblin Lee (who, as good fortune smiles upon us, know each other well). We're not going to fill a football stadium, but to have three other players within a reasonable distance suggests to me that I'm luckier than most. And lets not forget Bring Out Your Lead 2013!

Which leaves 8th edition. I guess I'm just over that now. It still saddens me to think that GW are not who they used to be, but that has just led me back to a better era of gaming. I still have half a mind to rant about the ever increasing scale of GW figures - not long now before you could play 40k with Power Ranger action figures, really.

So with the original purpose of the blog supposedly covered and a declaration that retirement is not yet an option, a question is begged***:

What now?

Well, I still like talking to you, you know. Yes - you, patient reader. There is something cathartic and visceral about flinging my unprocessed half-thoughts across the internet for others to find. That you find them is nice, but it is also the act of flinging them that brings joy, and often, peace. 

From what I understand, many people, when met with the question 'what now?' will chose to make a list. That seems like a good idea now and so I shall. But, just before that, it feels right to close off some odds and ends:

It might be that you read this blog more than once. Of that small subset of readers, perhaps it comes to pass that you elect to write a comment. If you have fallen into this unfathomably small collection of people, then it might be that you would reasonably have expected some sort of response from me. You know, because it's the done thing. 

So to you I say - sorry. Unreservedly. I should respond to comments more. 

Again, if you are part of that tragic subset of readers that return on a regular basis, it might be that you return because you are tracking our latest**** battle report, The Bridge Over the River Chai. You would have been doing so since October 2012, when the thing started. We are now halfway through May and the thing is not complete. 

So to you I say - sorry. Unreservedly. I should finish what I start. I am a parent now, so I will not make any commitments, but I will labour**** certainly a lot harder than usual to bring this saga to a close. One more turn and an Epilogue to go. 

Also, you might have noticed the visual feast of a table upon which The Bridge Over the River Chai has been played on. A thing which has unforgivably gone unmentioned on this blog is the Indiegogo campaign being run by Dreamfish. That campaign is to raise funds to produce the stunningly flexible and capable table framework upon which that battle has occurred. As of the time of writing, there is still time for you to capitalise on this opportunity and buy a table. 

I've not bought a table. Also, I will not be able to buy a table*****. Life after Lichemaster can be described as 'broke'.

Don't allow yourself to be like me. You can be the envy of all of your friends with your super dynamic wargaming table, which is flexible enough to allow doughnut configurations, or 'L' shaped configurations. You never know when you'll need an 'L' shaped configuration. Be prepared - get one now. 

Now, back to that list I mentioned. What Now?

• I will complete Bridge Over the River Chai
• In a fit of madness that can only be explained in another post, I purchased some old Battlemasters Halberdiers. I am painting them. Instead of the Lichemaster. Explanation coming, honest!
• I will complete the planned goblin force and post on its progress.
• I am planning a battle report. Nothing like the three that have gone before, but something much simpler and easier to produce. I have to be realistic about time and I don't think I could spend another seven months writing a battle report. 
• Andre and I sort of started a narrative campaign, but we've had a chat about that and we will look to reset and restart that in a much easier to consume manner. 
• I guess I'd better get started with The Terror of the Lichemaster. 
• At this stage I have absolutely no idea what army or figures or warband or whatever is going to make it to Bring Out Your Lead 2013! yet. Literally no idea. Of course, I must capitalise on what I have painted, but its just all over the place at the moment. I'll tack it onto the list. 

Looking at the list, it seems to suggest that there are plenty of bullets in the gun. 

The blog goes on. 

*Might be bigging that up a bit. For actual culture, check out his other blog: http://fuckyeahbritisholdschoolgaming.tumblr.com/

**Not an actual word. 

***Okay, its just wholesale slaughter of the English language now...

****Let's apply this term loosely, shall we?

*****Sorry, Dreamfish!

Battle Report: The Bridge Over the River Chai - Turn 9

Battle Navigator

Prologue 

Meet The Contestants

Rules and Deployment

Turn 1

Turn 2

Turn 3

Turn 4

Turn 5

Turn 6

Turn 7

Turn 8

Turn 9 (you are here)

Turn 10

Epilogue

Turn 9

We grind on. Things are much more... focused now. We know there are other orcs and dwarves and elves and whatnot. But we cast our casual gaze to the middle of the field, where, as fate would have it, all the stars of the show have conglomerated within 12" of each other.

Is that the subtle giggle of destiny I hear?

The turn starts like this

Movement Phase

The Steelaxes, having been stung by the goblins earlier in the fight, prepare themselves for vengeance and charge Rogaine and his remaining boar boys. Wineghum, not normally one to launch into combat, succumbs to his firm hatred of dwarves and their like, and goads his giant spider into a clumsy flank charge. Fortunately for the dwarves, they pass their panic test. 

Actions

Airbornegrove:

S

Charged @ RGH, Changed formation to 4 files, moved forward 5"

A2C

Routed forward 6"

Thantsants:

RGH

Holds, unformed

W

Charged @ S, moved 1"

GF

Routed forward 7"

RLR

Routed forward 8"

K3C

Routed forward 7"

WoP

Routed off the table

Combat Phase

So it seems that there was some confusion just before the combat started. Too late did Dreamfish realise that the Firehammers, being +4 shock elites, actually have two attacks. I see your raised eyebrow. You clearly have an appreciation for the fact that bigger numbers are better than smaller numbers, but because of the lateness of this post, you're not entirely sure what the impact of this is on the game right now. Am I right?

Of course I'm right. No worries, I'll explain. 

In turn 8, the dwarves were actually pushed back by the dark elves. Dreamfish looked at this situation and realised that the dwarves would most likely have pushed the dark elves around, not the other way. This was also evidenced in the first round of combat - the dark elves managed to draw the combat. Now one can't go around battlefields crying over spilt milk - that sort of thing is just not done. But, compensation was required, so Dreamfish processed an extra set of attacks for the dwarves, which meant they were just able to overcome the dark elves, causing them to be pushed back (and followed up by the dwarves).

Dreamfish then granted Morgrim the right to step out of that follow up, so that he could remain in the epic challenge with Master B'tor, which, frankly is the thing we're really interested in. This is the sort of thing games-masters can do - they can change rules for the good of the game. You really should look into getting one. 

So, the final state of affairs for the dark elves was that they were pushed back by the dwarves, leading to them being completely annihilated as they fled whilst their two leaders continued to express their feelings for each other through the medium of swordplay.

Not far from these two, Rogaine and his lads meet the charge from the Steelaxes. Ensconced within that fine body of dwarves is the young Borri Forkbeard, who issues a challenge to Rogaine. 

Rogaine, as you may have noticed from earlier turns, struggles with anger management issues. He happily accepts the challenge before cleaving Borri in two with his wicked blade. The other dwarves and orcs acquit themselves suitably, but in the end, the remaining boar riders are all slain. Despite this, dwarves are also killed, leading to Rogaine and Wineghum getting a free hack when the dwarves rout. Unfortunately (if you're supporting the dwarves, otherwise please use the term 'fortunately'), that is enough to 'retire' the Steelaxes from active duty. 

Actions

S vs RGH, W

Round 1

Modifiers

S

charged

RGH

none

W

charged

Attacks

A1 I5

Borri Forkbeard <- Rogaine

A2 I4

Borri Forkbeard <- Rogaine

A1 I3

Borri Forkbeard -> Rogaine

A3 I3

Borri Forkbeard <- Rogaine

A2 I2

Borri Forkbeard -> Rogaine

A4 I2

Borri Forkbeard <- Rogaine

A3 I1

Borri Forkbeard -> Rogaine

A1 I3

Dwarf4 <- Orc1

A1 I3

Dwarf4 <- Orc1's mount

A1 I3

Dwarf3 <- Orc2

A1 I3

Dwarf3 <- Orc2's mount

A1 I3

Dwarf4 <- W (1W)

A1 I1

Dwarf3 -> Orc2 (1W)

A1 I1

Dwarf5 <- Spider

A1 I1

Dwarf5 -> W

A2 I1

Dwarf5 <- Spider

Results

S

+1 (charged) +1 (wounds) = 2

RGH, W

+1 (charged) +1 (wounds) = 2

Round 2

Modifiers

S

none

RGH

none

W

none

Attacks

A1 I5

Borri Forkbeard <- Rogaine (2W)

A1 I3

Dwarf3 <- W

A1 I2

Dwarf2 (mus) <- Orc1

A1 I2

Dwarf2 (mus) <- Orc1's mount

A1 I1

Dwarf2 (mus) -> Orc1 (1W)

A1 I1

Dwarf3 -> Orc1

A1 I1

Dwarf4 -> W

A1 I1

Dwarf4 <- Spider

A2 I1

Dwarf4 <- Spider (1W)

Results

S

+1 (wounds) = 1

RGH, W

+3 (wounds) = 3

Free Hack 1

A1 I5

Dwarf2 (mus) <- Rogaine (1W)

A1 I1

Dwarf3 <- W

A1 I1

Dwarf3 <- Spider (1W)

MB, SQC vs F

Round 1

Modifiers

MB

follow-up

SQC

follow-up

F

none

Attacks

A1 I9

Parried

A2 I8

MB -> MI

A3 I7

MB -> MI

A4 I6

MB -> MI

A1 I6

DE2 (std) -> Dwarf9

A1 I6

DE3 -> Dwarf8

A1 I6

DE4 -> Dwarf4 (1W)

A1 I6

DE9 -> Dwarf9

A1 I6

DE10 -> Dwarf7

A1 I6

DE11 -> Dwarf3 (std)

A1 I4

MB <- MI

A2 I3

MB <- MI (1W)

A3 I2

MB <- MI

A1 I2

DE11 <- Dwarf3 (std) (1W)

A1 I2

DE10 <- Dwarf6 (1W)

A1 I2

DE3 <- Dwarf8 (1W)

A1 I2

DE2 (std) <- Dwarf9

A1 I1

MB's mount -> Dwarf3 (std)

A4 I1

MB <- MI

A2 I1

MB's mount -> Dwarf3 (std)

Results

MB, SQC

+1 (standard) +1 (follow-up) +1 (wounds) = 3

F

+1 (standard) +4 (wounds) = 5

Round 2

Modifiers

SQC

none

F

follow-up

Attacks

A1 I6

DE1 -> Dwarf4

A1 I6

DE2 -> Dwarf3

A1 I6

DE3 -> Dwarf2 (std)

A1 I6

DE4 -> Dwarf1

A1 I2

DE4 <- Dwarf1

A1 I2

DE3 <- Dwarf2 (std) (1W)

A1 I2

DE2 (std) <- Dwarf3

A1 I2

DE1 <- Dwarf4

A1 I1

DE4 <- Dwarf1 (1W)

A1 I1

DE3 <- Dwarf2 (std)

A1 I1

DE2 (std) <- Dwarf3

A1 I1

DE1 <- Dwarf4

Results

SQC

+1 (standard) = 1

F

+1 (standard) +1 (follow-up) +2 (wounds) = 4

Free Hack 1

A1 I2

DE4 <- Dwarf1 (1W)

A1 I2

DE3 <- Dwarf2 (std) (1W)

A1 I2

DE2 (std) <- Dwarf3 (1W)

A1 I2

DE1 <- Dwarf4 (1W)

Free Hack 2

A1 I2

DE1 <- Dwarf5 (1W)

A1 I2

DE2 <- Dwarf6 (1W)

MB vs MI

Round 2

Modifiers

MB

none

MI

follow-up

Attacks

A1 I9

MB -> MI

A2 I8

MB -> MI

A3 I7

MB -> MI

A4 I6

MB -> MI

A1 I4

MB <- MI

A2 I3

MB <- MI

A3 I2

MB <- MI

A4 I1

MB <- MI

A1 I1

MB's mount -> MI

A2 I1

MB's mount -> MI

Results

MB

0

MI

+1 (follow-up) = 1

***

Morgrim nodded to his captain as they exchanged glances.

"You go after them, I'll deal with him," he shouted, pointing at the dark elf general.

Both he and the elf had become separated from their units during the encounter. The elf closed in again, seemingly indifferent to the cries of his elves being cut down as they fled from the Firehammers. Morgrim trusted his dwarves not to interfere in their fight now - it was a personal challenge.

Sparks flew as the elf's blade clattered off his own. Parry. Parry. Mind the lizard. Swing. Sneaky thrust? Ah, no luck there. Parry again.

The elf was proving hard to pin down. The lizard held most of Morgrim's attention - he kept letting the creature bite his armour in order to get an opportunity at the elf, but he just couldn't turn those opportunities into successful blows.

***

Master B'tor was having as much trouble trying to hit the dwarf. His raging lizard was barely under control now. Every time an opportunity to strike presented itself, the blasted creature was in the way, ineffectually savaging at the dwarf like an excited dog with a bone. But there was nothing for it - he couldn't dismount now and besides - he didn't have the time. The damned dwarves had routed his crew and would no doubt be closing in on him. He needed to kill this dwarf and he needed to do it quickly.

"Out the way, retard!" he barked, thumping the neck of his mount with the pommel of his sword.

***

Rallying Phase

The Arrowheads, finding themselves cold, wet and hungry, but ultimately safe on the south of the river, relax and rally.

Actions

Airbornegrove:

A2C

Rallied

***

Rogaine looked down at his challenger. A wounded boar thrashed and squealed, its lifeless rider  jerking like a broken marionette against the other dead.

The dwarf was still breathing, but Rogaine could see there was no pain. This was a curious dwarf - his beard had been dyed blue. In this case, the dwarf had not been a worthy adversary, so he warranted no eye contact or special treatment.

He can die by himself.

Surveying the battlefield, the orc general could see the battle was all but over. The dwarves still held a nominal line along the south bank of the river, but they were too far away to be of consequence now. They didn't appear to be mobilising, which suggested they also realised the show was over.

Rogaine tugged on the rein, bringing the boar to face the two last combatants. A bloody dwarf versus a bloody elf. Although, technically, he was working for the elf, he had not been impressed with the performance of the elven force.

If your boys don't perform, its your fault, not theirs. 

And they hadn't performed. He watched as the dwarf commander's bodyguard formed up again, having confirmed that all the elves they had overrun were dead.

Of course, he'd have to accept that his boys hadn't performed well either, but he had plans to remedy that. Because that would be my fault. Any of the orcs that hadn't been killed were in line for a serious arse kicking that night. So many orcs had run away that he wasn't sure if he was at a battle or a marathon.

The groan of an orc came to his ears. He looked around and saw one of his boar boys struggling to get up. A quick lash of his cruel scimitar separated the orcs head from his body.

"That's for running away earlier. Don't do it again."

Looking back at the lone combatants, Rogaine made a decision.

What the hell. I'll just kill both of them.

***

Battle Navigator

Prologue 

Meet The Contestants

Rules and Deployment

Turn 1

Turn 2

Turn 3

Turn 4

Turn 5

Turn 6

Turn 7

Turn 8

Turn 9 (you are here)

Turn 10

Epilogue