Wednesday, 21 October 2015

Skulzinschitte: The Harvesters of Chaos

In our last post, we considered the glorious throng of the Doomlord himself, Dieter Helsnicht. In this next (but hardly final) instalment of our exploration of 4th edition, we cast our eyes to his hated enemy: Luther Vangross, Champion of Nurgle.

But then I realised something.

The name is a pun.

And 4th edition, as you may recall, is not about puns. Or wit. Or subtlety of any variety.

No. 4th edition is about SKULLS! And BLOOD! Oh, and SKULLS! No longer do our words stem from the subtle satire that can be generated from the world around us. Instead, they stem from the basic, banal, almost primal grunting of fantasy as told by thirteen year olds. Our words express intent, whilst still attempting to convey the sheer awesomeness and undiluted fantastical... well, fantasy. Thus, we append the names of monsters, or weapons and the verbs that describe their application: Axel Daemonpuncher, or Sir Chopfest von Deathcrunch.

Visceral. Unmistakable.


So let's revisit that:

In this next (but hardly final) instalment of our exploration of 4th edition, we cast our eyes to his hated enemy: Irongrind Dragonhacker, Champion of Nurgle.

The Harvesters of Chaos


Irongrind Dragonhacker, Champion of Nurgle (Chaos Lord)

Equipment: Nurgle's Cloud of Flies, Chaos Armour, Mark of Nurgle

345 Points

Count Mordrek the Damned (Chaos Lord)

Equipment: Sword of Change, Chaos Armour, Living Damnation, Shield, Chaos Steed, Barding

424 Points

Hornlust Sinbiter (Master Sorcerer of Slaanesh)

Equipment: Chaos Armour, Chaos Familiar, Mark of Slaanesh

Spells: Acquiescence, Slicing Shards of Slaanesh, Chaos Spawn

300 Points
Skullscreamer the Sly (Sorcerer Champion of Nurgle)

Equipment: The Chalice of Chaos, Chaos Armour, Mark of Nurgle

Spells: Shrivelling Pox, Miasma of Pestilence

211 Points


6 Chaos Knights

Equipment: Chaos Armour, Shield, Chaos Steed, Barding, Standard

546 Points

8 Chaos Warriors

Equipment: Chaos Armour, Two Handed Weapons, Standard

288 Points
3 Trolls

Equipment: None

195 Points

4 Chaos Hounds

Equipment: None

64 Points

Note: Yes, the picture is from a different photo 'shoot' and there is no beastmaster for the unit. I, uh, forgot to take a picture of the hounds



6 Plaguebearers

Equipment: Plague Swords

Spells: Stream of Corruption, Fly Swarm


Grom the Paunch of Misty Mountain (Goblin Warlord)

Equipment: Axe of Grom, Light Armour, Chariot, Niblit

257 Points
Goblin Chariot

Equipment: Scythes, Shields, Short Bows

87 Points
16 Goblins

Equipment: Short Bows, Shields

56 Points
16 Goblins

Equipment: Short Bows, Shields

56 Points
20 Goblins

Equipment: Light Armour, Shields, Standard, Musician

85 Points
Broggin Thicke (A Stone Troll, courtesy of that fine figure of a man, Airbornegrove)

Equipment: None

65 Points

Army Totals:

Characters: 1280 Points (41%)
Rank and File: 1093 Points (35%)
Daemons: 150 Points (5%)
Allies: 606 Points (19%)

A brief note on the selection of special characters:

Special characters. Surely one of the most important concepts introduced into the later editions of Warhammer. Whilst in 3rd edition, the thing that made your characters special was you, in 4th edition, the thing that made them special was Games Workshop. In some cases (say, Dieter Helsnicht), there was nothing special about them at all. You could recreate the character from the army list with exactly the same capabilities for exactly the same cost - they were only special because they had a name.

But in the list above, we see not just one special character, but two! Characters who have something that is not otherwise available in the army list.

One of a kind, one might say.

Apart from one or two (Grom and Eltharion, specifically), I must be honest: I don't like special characters. I really struggle to relate to the super hero like problem of all these one-in-a-bajillion type of characters all being alive and in the same place at the same time, with nothing to do with their amazing super powers than harass and frustrate each other over immature and frankly pointless schemes. I just can't see Nagash waking up to escort 120 skeletons on a patrol to see what Emperor Karl Franz is up to whilst on his morning stroll with his 130 strong body guard.

And I don't like Grom and Eltharion because they're special characters. I like Grom and Eltharion because they come with a narrative which creates an excellent backdrop for gaming a story.

But, because this exercise is objective, academic and arguably (semi) archeogaming, I felt compelled to include special characters, because they were so very exciting and new in 4th edition.

And also, I had the figures.

In the next post, I shall craft a reason for these two forces (and their epic super hero special characters!) to come together at the ill-fated hamlet of Skulzinschitte,

As if you needed a reason in 4th edition...


  1. This has always been one of my favorite forces then you went an skullified all the names. LOL Always good to see pics of this army, it is soooo old skool. Hey and Broggin Thicke get's his internet debut...NICE!!!

    1. Oh - and cheers for Mr Thicke in the first place!

    2. You are most welcome my friend. ;)

  2. I was glad to give Broggin some airtime - he's been staring at me ever since his arrival, demanding some action. Of course, you'll have to wait for the report to see what that action looked like.

    But cheers for the comments! Rest assured that the names are strictly temporary, for the purposes of research, you understand. Standard Pun Fu will return (probably in 2016, when I finish the report...)

    1. Oh I can wait, and all of my comments are of course in jest. LOL

  3. I think the Lizardmen missed the skull 'n' blood fad in 5th as they seemed to be 90% pun based!

    Where did the slug bodied model come from by the way, I've got to get one of those!

    1. 5th Ed was a whole different animal - they had little cartoons in the rules and everything!

      I thought it was a great ruleset and I'm really sorry they went all grimdark after that.

      The slug fellow is actually a champion of slaanesh upper body (with the fly arms - slaanesh symbol removed) attached to the lower body of a beast of nurgle (without the legs).

      Curiously, I've found that many of the Slaanesh champions work well for Nurgle - the chaos warrior with the banner was also a champion of slaanesh...

  4. Congrats on a great looking army, your blog was my gateway into the old hammer movement and I can't thank you enough.
    I just recently finished my first "real" 3rd edition army and would appreciate your input.
    Congrats again!

    1. HI 24_Cigarettes. Somehow, I forgot to respond to this message (nearly a month and a half late!)

      I remember seeing it come in, but obviously haven't done anything about it - not at all the way one should engage in social media, obviously!

      So - my heartfelt apologies for the mishap - especially as it was such a nice thing to say! Fortunately, I've not missed out on the astounding progress of your work - enough to see your beautiful battle report and the ability to stage different themes of skaven forces.

      Input on the army? Er....only to say that I happen to have a home for unwanted skaven, so, y'know...if you ever take up croquet or something and find the urge to get rid of the skaven (so many, after all...), I could, y'

      Just saying :)

  5. Hello Gaj, I missed this update somehow but it's got me excited all over again - hurry up and do some battle! And it's good to see your 'beloved' chariot getting some screen time... you know the one... ;)

    1. Obviously missed this one as well. Tsk, tsk. I fear I'm in danger of slipping to the new year with this one and will need to crack on in good order to get everything back on schedule.


      I just don't know how everyone else does it (besides divorce, unemployment or wholesale abuse of energy drinks)...

  6. Can you please write an angry rant on Age of Sigmar?

  7. Hey Leonidas!

    Thanks for kicking me into action - the blog has been dragging for the whole of 2015 and is in grave danger of a similar level of effort for 2016.

    As for Age of Sigmar, I have been toying about putting something out there, because I do think its an excellent test of the oldhammer community and some of the merits it sometimes believes it holds.

    Quite how I turn that into an angry rant I'm not sure ( angry rants? here? You must be a long time reader if you've seen those ;) ).

    Certainly, you're more likely to see something on Age of Sigmar than the current battle report at the rate things are going...

  8. Thanks for holding the possibility. I read the Age of Sigmar rules back when it came out and have been shaking my head ever since. Some of the things seem kind of silly, so I don't whether GW is joking or maybe they have lost their minds.

    Also, I'm glad I have pushed you into action for 2016! And you really must finish this battle report...

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