Wasn't me.

Now I'm not in the business of 'paying for ass*', as such an activity might crudely be named these days, but I rather suspect that if one did come across a prostitute, instruct said prostitute to invent an act called an 'asscannon' in order that one might benefit from said act, it would be still be significantly cheaper than this one:

I daresay, like me, most of the readers of this blog will have been watching this auction (and its sister, the chaos dwarf juggernaut) with morbid fascination, imagining what it is that the buyer might say to their spouse by way of explanation.

In other news, bargains are still to be had on eBay, so don't give up, kids!

*Of course, as a married man, it could be argued that I am very much in the business of paying for ass. Over and over and over and over again. Year on year without fail. Until death us do part, in fact. But I'm a glass half-full kind of person.