Battle Report: The Bridge Over the River Chai - Turn 8

Battle Navigator

Prologue 

Meet The Contestants

Rules and Deployment

Turn 1

Turn 2

Turn 3

Turn 4

Turn 5

Turn 6

Turn 7

Turn 8 (you are here)

Turn 9

Turn 10

Epilogue

Turn 8

Wait.

What's this?

Turn 8?

Turn 8 indeed. Please stand by whilst those new to oldhammer finish convulsing after their aneurysms.

...and we're not done yet.

The eighth turn was short and brutal. Again: lots of running. Shortly, you will see a picture describing the moves. There are words on that picture. Six of them are "Flee!" Four of them are "Charge!"

Anyway, this is how the turn started:

The turn starts like this

Movement Phase

The Dark Elves, still under control of the GM at this stage, charge the newly revealed Firehammers as the Mystic Mist that had confounded them so last turn dissipates. 

The Ironaxes line Wineghum up for a charge, but their stumpy little legs fail them at the last moment! Failing their charge, the dwarves find themselves stranded between what might be described as a rock and a hard place, where rock=Rogaine and hard place=Wineghum. Both declare a charge! 

Now let it be said that the dwarves are renowned for being doughty, stoic and thoroughly reliable - when it comes to the two legged variety of enemy. Wineghum's giant spider, having twice as many legs as the already terrifying horses the dwarves are so suspicious of, scared the shit out of them. 

The dwarves flee.

Unfortunately, the same stumpy legs that got them into this mess failed to get them out of the mess as both chargers make contact. Rogaine and his Grand Hareline cull three of the little buggers with their free hacks. 

Actions

GM:

MB

Charged @ F, moved 8"

SQC

Charged @ F, wheeled left 1.5", moved forward 6"

Airbornegrove:

F

Stand & shot @ MB, grenade deviated and missed

I

Charged @ W, unformed, routed

A2C

Routed, moved 3" @ difficult ground

S

Reformed

Thantsants:

W

Charged @ I, persued @ I, moved 7", wounded 1

RGH

Charged @ I, persued @ I, wheeled left 2", moved forward 6", wounded 2

GF

Routed, moved 7"

RLR

Routed, moved 8"

K3C

Routed, moved 7"

WoP

Routed, moved 10"

Shooting Phase

Well - there's not really much to say about the shooting phase. Both the dwarves and the orcs have missile units fleeing. Coupled with the orcs running out of war machines as they have been, they orcs can only offer a poor and desperate bolt thrower shot that swings wide of its mark.

The dwarves, however, claim some scalps by continuing their barrage on the orc artillery positions, killing three. To add insult to injury, a black orc is shot in passing.

Actions

Airbornegrove:

A2C

Shot @ GF, wounded 1

BT

Shot @ SC, missed

E

Shot @ SC deviated @ SCC, MMC, wounded 1, 2

Thantsants:

SC

Shot @ S, missed

Combat Phase

Unfortunately for the Ironaxes (compromised as they are by fleeing) are unable to offer any real resistance to Rogaine or even Wineghum. The dwarves are savaged and dispatched. There were no survivors. 

Filled with hatred for Morgrim, Master B'tor wastes no time in engaging the dwarf leader. Vivid manifestations of rage and wrath - sparks fly as the two smite each other. In the end, Master B'tor overcomes Morgrim, scoring a wound on the beleaguered dwarf. 

Ultimately, the Dark Elves win the fight, but are unable to rout the dwarves. The elves wrap around, trying to press their advantage home. 

Actions

W, RGH vs I

Round 1

Free Attacks

A1 I5

Rogaine -> Dwarf4

A2 I4

Rogaine -> Dwarf4 (1W)

A3 I3

Rogaine -> Dwarf2 (1W)

A1 I3

W -> Dwarf3 (1W)

Round 2

Free Attacks

A1 I5

Rogaine -> Dwarf1 (1w)

MB, SQC vs F

Round 1

Modifiers

MB

charged

SQC

charged

F

none

Attacks

A1 I10

Parried

A2 I9

MB -> MI

A3 I8

MB -> MI

A4 I7

MB -> MI

A1 I6

DE2 (std) -> Dwarf11 (1W)

A1 I6

DE3 -> Dwarf8

A1 I6

DE4 -> Dwarf4

A1 I4

MB <- MI

A2 I3

MB <- MI

A3 I2

MB <- MI

A1 I2

MB <- Dwarf2 (std)

A1 I2

DE4 <- Dwarf4

A1 I2

DE3 <- Dwarf8 (1W)

A1 I1

MB's mount -> Dwarf2 (std)

A4 I1

MB <- MI

A2 I1

MB's mount -> Dwarf2 (std)

Results

MB, SQC

+1 (standard) +1 (charged) +1 (ranks) +1 (wounds) = 4

F

+1 (standard) +1 (ranks) +1 (wounds) = 3

Round 2

Modifiers

MB

follow-up

SQC

follow-up

F

none

Attacks

A1 I9

MB -> MI

A2 I8

MB -> MI

A3 I7

MB -> MI (1W)

A4 I6

MB -> MI

A1 I6

DE2 (std) -> Dwarf10

A1 I6

DE3 -> Dwarf8 (1W)

A1 I6

DE4 -> Dwarf4

A1 I6

DE9 -> Dwarf10

A1 I6

DE10 -> Dwarf9

A1 I6

DE11 -> Dwarf2 (std)

A1 I4

MB <- MI

A2 I3

MB <- MI

A3 I2

MB <- MI

A1 I2

DE11 <- Dwarf2 (std)

A1 I2

DE4 <- Dwarf4

A1 I2

DE10 <- Dwarf9

A1 I2

DE2 (std) <- Dwarf10

A1 I1

MB's mount -> Dwarf2 (std)

A4 I1

MB <- MI

A2 I1

MB's mount -> Dwarf2 (std)

Results

MB, SQC

+1 (standard) +1 (follow-up) +1 (ranks) +2 (wounds) = 5

F

+1 (standard) +1 (ranks) = 2

***

Blimey! He's back. 

Morgrim planted his feet firmly as he watched Master B'tor lower his lance.

The elf clearly didn't get the message the last time. 

Morgrim's ribs still ached with every move and his breathing was laboured. There was no chance of him repeating his previous stunt of taking the lance in the chest.

The commander of the dwarves shook his head. He hated cavalry. But, it'll have to be the lizard, he thought.

With slow deliberation, Morgrim unclipped the pouch on his belt and removed a hand grenade. As the elf kicked the cold one into action, Morgrim casually leaned back and lit the grenade on the cigarillo of one of his dwarf colleagues - this other dwarf nodding in agreement.

Don't fail me now, he thought as he kissed its side.

Using a gentle underhanded throw, the grenade floated through the air, only to bounce awkwardly off a tiny pebble and ricochet down the gradual slope of the field towards the river. Excellent dwarven engineering had produced an almost perfect sphere - exactly the sort of thing that would roll down an even slope well - even with the slightest momentum. So it was that the grenade rolled some fifteen or so feet away before exploding spectacularly and harmlessly.

Morgrim cursed as he watched the dramatic figure of the dark elf punch through the smoke and dust, his murderous intent clear.

We'll just have to do it the hard way, then. 

He raised his sword to shoulder height. He could feel the elf searching his face, trying to make eye contact - trying to penetrate the dwarf with his hate and anger. But in order to survive this encounter, Morgrim knew he'd need to concentrate. The real fight here was now with the lizard. Once the lance was out of the equation - well, that was a different story.

***

Master B'tor relished every uneven bounce of his cold one mount. Cold ones lacked the simple elegance of horses, but the enormous comfort taken from their long strides compared to the violent bouncing of a galloping horse made it much easier to focus on the fight.

He knew better than to expect the dwarf to try the same tactic as the last time. He had felt the impact on the dwarf and could not believe the dwarf had not taken serious injury in that fight. That both had returned to fight each other was very respect worthy, he thought. He was proud he had overcome the loss of his foot and in a way, he was proud that the dwarf still stood - about to receive his just desserts.

But too late did the elf understand the dwarf's plan. Closer and closer came the tip of the lance, until the dwarf darted right into the path of the cold one. The lance, already dangerously close to the ground, tracked the dwarf right up until the shaft clattered into the raging beast's shoulder, kicking the lance out sideways and down. It was all Master B'tor could do not to stab the thing into the ground and vault over the bloody little dwarf.

***

Morgrim launched himself straight at the head of the cold one, which regardless of its owner's desires was planning on meeting him halfway. It's great teeth snapped shut on the inbound blade, stopping the swing completely and causing all parties to come to a halt. Pulling the sword down, Mogrim twisted the head of the cold one sideways and started pulling the creature around. The stupid creature, enraged as it was, didn't think to let go of the blade, but tried to shake its head in order to free it up. It was long past the point of feeling pain as its blood started to run freely through brutal teeth.

***

Master B'tor clicked his teeth in frustration. The dwarf was using the stupidity of the cold one and his diminutive stature to keep the creature's head in between himself and the elf. B'tor dropped the lance in favour of his more versatile sword, which he poked over his left arm in a desperate attempt to find the dwarf.

***

Morgrim suddenly understood the old saying of 'swinging a tiger by the tail.' Whilst he wasn't altogether sure what a tiger was (that being a key element preventing him from understanding the proverb before), he was fairly sure that once one stopped swinging the proverbial tiger around, it would be both angry and capable of divesting the swinger of his life. So it was with the cold one.

As if on cue, the cold one suddenly let go of the blade, pink foam scattering from its torn lips as it shook its head. Morgrim skirted anti-clockwise around the left as the elf guided the creature in a full clockwise turn to the right.

Morgrim easily parried the dark elf's blade as it shot directly at the dwarf when the two came abreast again, before swinging at the elven commander's sword arm. The blow was clumsy and passed under the limb - the elf displaying no effort at all in his evasion.

***

Master B'tor smiled as the dwarf blade sailed beneath his arm. He hadn't expected it, but he could capitalise on it. He released his grip on the reigns, allowing them to slither through his open hand, creating a slack unwise for the riding of cold ones. But he followed this up by throwing his balance over to his right, allowing him to apply all his now unsupported weight to his sword arm.

Gravity took hold. To everyone else, it would look as if the elf was falling from the lizard. Master B'tor twirled the sword in his hand - the blade now pointing down.

The blade bit deep into the exposed flesh where Morgrim's shoulder met his neck. Catching himself in at the very last second, Master B'tor's left hand snapped shut on the reigns, stopping his fall. He pushed down on the blade, causing it to bite even deeper, but also allowing him to force himself upright against the solid bulk of the dwarf.

Blood sprayed as the blade came free.

***

For the second time in his career Morgrim felt the sting of a blade pass through his shoulder, caused by an elf on high. The sheer surprise of the event caused his legs to fold under him, leading him to sit clumsily on the floor. Worse was the warm burst of blood that followed the withdrawal of the blade, splashing his cheek and into his left eye.

He cried out in pain and shock as he watched the cold one skitter away, before turning to face him once again.

***

Magic Phase

Hang on - where's the reserve phase! I expect a full report!

Ah. About that. Although reserves form a huge part of the manoeuvrability aspect of 3rd edition, units cannot reserve move if they're subject to compulsory movement or within 4" of an enemy unit. At this stage, anyone eligible for reserves just had no interest in going anywhere.

As for magic, Wineghum passes his intelligence test and is able to cast Strength of Combat - a personal effect spell that increases his strength by 1.

Don't look at me like that - +1S is very valuable, you know. At least its not Mystic Mist.

Actions

Thantsants:

W

Casted Strength of Combat, +1 Strength, 4 MP remaining

Battle Navigator

Prologue 

Meet The Contestants

Rules and Deployment

Turn 1

Turn 2

Turn 3

Turn 4

Turn 5

Turn 6

Turn 7

Turn 8 (you are here)

Turn 9

Turn 10

Epilogue

It's a Time Machine!

Look!

I found a time machine. It's set for the eighties. I think you should take a look inside.

Yeah. You did hear Iron Maiden playing in the background. Don't forget to set the video recorder for the A-Team.

Oldhammer - Bring Out Your Lead! (2013)

I don't know if you've heard yet, but there's this thing happening up in Nottingham this summer. Maybe you're interested in going?

ROC in Nottingham

In my last post.....located at the end of Gaj's last post (If that makes sense) I introduced my newly completed Chaos Army.  I also said that I would take a Nurgle warband to the ROC game in Nottingham in August.  This was because my new army is Nurgle themed and it would be easy to create a warband from this.  But as time past....a few hours really.  I decided that I would use the dice rolls, that I had rolled when making that warband, and use these for a Khorne warband.  It was only five strong after all, so not a big job really. The only change I made was replacing the Chaos Wizard/Sorcerer with a Chaos Champion (Marauder) as Khorne isn't really a patron of those who are magically inclined!

Anyway here they are no background story yet but that will come in time....

The Chaos Warrior (Level 15) was painted some months ago.  The three Orcs I did this afternoon (speed painting...from unbased unpainted miniatures to complete in one sitting!!!).  The miniature I am using as the Marauder is an old Citadel miniature that was sold as a 'Hero' in the 80's...I think.  So there you have it.   These will be going to Nottingham with me along with my Chaos Army.

And finally here is a picture of a dragon I painted ages ago.  It is a Mantic miniature and is small compared to Citadel dragons.  But I like it and field it as a young dragon.

 

Got to go now...

Battle Report: The Bridge Over the River Chai - Turn 7

Battle Navigator

Prologue 

Meet The Contestants

Rules and Deployment

Turn 1

Turn 2

Turn 3

Turn 4

Turn 5

Turn 6

Turn 7 (you are here)

Turn 8

Turn 9

Turn 10

Epilogue

Turn 7

Well. Turn 7. I got there in the end.

And what an interesting turn it is. In the last turn, it was still possible to discern lines - the nominal facing off of opposing force. That goes away in Turn 7. Because everyone runs away. Now its just skirmishing with units.

Oh, and the GM gets sneaky. Control of Master B'tor is 'revoked' and passes to the GM (Dreamfish). If he gets into command range of his units, Thantsants could lose control of the whole lot...

The turn starts like this

Movement Phase

Of course, to initiate lots of running away, one must initiate running toward. This the contestants do with great gusto, launching five charges between them. By the same toke, troops not specifically interested in the outcome of events (that being most of the orcs) flee. Rogaine loses Chamallow's Goblin Command and Suderfed's Big Boys Brigade to the table edge as they scream into the distance.

Rogaine watches as Meedy Ochre, deeming his task to be done, lopes off to the west in search of alcohol and Nico, who he hasn't seen for a little while now.

Kibarkid's Lot and the Lamentable Boworcs have also had enough, despite their heroic efforts, and flee from the Steelaxes - freeing them up to attempt a charge on the Gaversconne's Fireguts. Alas for stumpy legs - the exhausted dwarves surrender the greenskin target to the Ironaxes, who have the same idea - but have the drive, commitment and the requisite 6" to connect with their foe.

In a comedic slapfest, two units of crossbow... er... beings have at one another. Although the dwarves fail to connect, the obliging elves step up, so happily, they meet in the middle.

Actions

GM:

MB

Moved 7" @ SQC

Airbornegrove:

I

Charged @ GF, moved forward 6"

S

Charged @ GF, wheeled left 1.5", moved forward 4.5", unformed, holds

A2C

Charged @ SQC, wheeled left 1", moved forward 5", unformed, holds

MO

Routed off the table

F

Moved forward 1.5" @ half movement

Thantsants:

GF

Holds

WoP

Charged @ I, moved forward 8.5", wheeled left 1.5", unformed

SQC

Charged @ A2C, wheeled right 3.5", moved forward 0.5", unformed

RLR

Routed forward 8"

K3C

Routed forward 7"

SBB

Routed off the table

CGC

Routed off the table

RGH

Reformed

Shooting Phase

Now, when most of your shooters are involved in hand to hand combat, the shooting phase tends towards the dull.

But! Angry dwarves, having spent most of their turns lost in the mist with no idea of what's going on around them score a direct hit!

Perhaps a scoreline would help to explain the situation:

Earthquaker: 1
Man-mangler: 0

Not only do the dwarves succeed in destroying the orc warmachine, they bolt thrower also kills two of Rogaine's finest! And some goblins get shot. Meh.

Actions

Airbornegrove:

A1C

Shot @ K3C, wounded 2

BT

Shot @ RGH, wounded 2

E

Shot @ RGH deviated @ MM, destroyed MM and wounded 1

Thantsants:

SC

Shot @ S, missed

***

"Lemme guess - a rock fell outta the sky and smashed the arm, right?"

The other orcs blinked at Pannerdol. Nayz slowly pointed to the rock he was balancing on his shoulder. He had been about to lower it into the basket. His mouth opened and closed. "But..."

Pannerdol held a finger to Nayz' lips "Shht! Don't say nuffink! Whaddaya think - I'm some kinda idiot? I goes for a piss for thirty seconds and when I come back, yoose lots gone and broken Man Mangler! Then you- " he poked Nayz in the chest, "picks up a rock and act like nothin's happened! You lot make me sick!" Pannerdol's shrieked the last word at such a high pitch that his voice faltered. 

Nayz just stood blinking. "But..."

"Aww boss!" Ibupp whined. "E's fer real! A stone dropped from the sky and smashed Man Manger! Honest!"

Pannerdol raised his eyebrows. "...and landed in right in the basket, just how we'd put a rock there?"

"Yeah! Now yer gettin' it!"

Pannerdol slapped Ibupp across the face. 

"Rocks."

-Slap- 

"Don't." 

-Slap- 

"Drop."

-Slap-

"From."

-Slap-

"The."

-Slap-

"Sky."

-Slap- 

"Okay?" Pannerdol leaned in, thrusting his face into Ibupp's smarting face. 

Both Nayz and Ibupp blinked. "But..." they said in unison. 

"So's I don't care which of you knob heads broke Man Mangler. Pack yer stuff - we're leav- Hey! Who killed Bennilinn?"

Ibupp pointed at the rock, now lying in the split remains of the stone throwers throwing arm. 

Pannerdol rolled his eyes and flung his hands wide. "Of course! It was the magic rock, weren't it! Mebbe we should all jes' worship it before 'e calls 'is mates and more rocks rain from the sky, eh?" He aimed a wild kick at Ibupp. "Pack it up! We're leaving!"

***

Combat Phase

Right, its been so long that I looked at turn 6, I can't even remember if this has happened before. But its worth knowing, so I'll mention it here. 

In 3rd edition, when you charge a unit and you must wheel more than 22.5 degrees in order to connect, your unit becomes unformed. That means that if you are pushed back in combat, you will automatically rout. 

Worth noting, because that happens twice here. 

After some furious swinging, chopping and hacking, the crossbowelves see off the crossbowdwarves, who are unformed and thus flee back to the freezing River Chai. The elves, realising that hitting things for a living is much more dangerous than shooting things for a living, decide to restrain from pursuing the dwarves, choosing to reform instead. 

The witch elves, flexing the supremely valuable tactical advantage of attacking an enemy in the rear, pretty much bounce like a ball, fleeing in exactly the same direction they came from, after the Ironaxes hand their (the dark elves, that is) arses to them. The big'uns also take delivery of their arses, fleeing in the opposite direction, leaving the bewildered and bloody dwarves stranded in the middle. 

Actions

SQC vs A2C

Round 1

Modifiers

SQC

unformed

A2C

unformed

Attacks

A1 I6

DE1 -> Dwarf3

A1 I6

DE2 (std) -> Dwarf2

A1 I6

DE3 -> Dwarf1

A1 I2

DE3 <- Dwarf1

A1 I2

DE2 (std) <- Dwarf2

A1 I2

DE2 (std) <- Dwarf3

A1 I2

DE1 <- Dwarf4

Results

SQC

+1 (standard) +1 (ranks) = 2

A2C

+1 (ranks) = 1

Free Hack 1

A1 I6

DE1 -> Dwarf3 (1W)

A1 I6

DE2 (std) -> Dwarf2

A1 I6

DE3 -> Dwarf1

I vs GF, WoP

Round 1

Modifiers

I

charged

GF

none

WoP

unformed

Attacks

A1 I6

Dwarf5 <- WE1

A1 I6

Dwarf6 <- WE2

A1 I5

Dwarf5 <- WE1

A1 I5

Dwarf6 <- WE2

A1 I2

Dwarf5 -> WE1

A1 I2

Dwarf6 -> WE2 (1W)

A1 I2

Dwarf1 -> Orc1

A1 I2

Dwarf2 -> Orc1

A1 I1

Dwarf1 <- Orc1

Results

I

+1 (standard) +1 (charged) +1 (wounds) = 3

GF, WoP

+1 (standard) = 1

Free Hack 1

A1 I2

Dwarf5 -> WE1 (1W)

A1 I2

Dwarf6 -> WE2 (1W)

Round 2

Modifiers

I

follow-up

GF

none

Attacks

A1 I2

Dwarf1 -> Gaversconne (1W)

A1 I2

Dwarf1 <- Gaversconne

A2 I1

Dwarf1 <- Gaversconne

A3 I1

Dwarf1 <- Gaversconne

A1 I2

Dwarf2 -> Orc2 (std)

A1 I1

Dwarf2 <- Orc2 (std)

A1 I2

Dwarf3 (std) -> Orc1 (1W)

A1 I2

Dwarf5 -> Orc5 (1W)

Results

I

+1 (standard) +1 (war banner) +1 (follow-up) +3 (wounds) = 6

GF

+1 (standard) = 1

Free Hack 1

A1 I2

Dwarf1 -> Gaversconne

A1 I2

Dwarf2 -> Orc2 (std) (1W)

A1 I2

Dwarf3 (std) -> Orc1

A1 I2

Dwarf4 -> Orc1

A1 I2

Dwarf5 -> Orc5

Reserves Phase

And so, in the beginning of the turn, there were armies. Now, there are just teams. Of most interesting in this otherwise mediocre reserves phase is the sudden interest in Wineghum by both Master B'tor and Rogaine.

Two facts worth noting at this point:

1. Wineghum currently holds the Percolator. 
2. Master B'tor is controlled by the GM now. 

Wineghum feels a shiver down his back...

Actions

GM:

MB

Moved 7" @ hill

SQC

Turned left, changed formation to 4 files (2nd manoeuvre), moved forward 4"

Airbornegrove:

I

Turned around

Thantsants:

RGH

Wheeled right 0.5", moved forward 5.5"

***

Rogaine sighed. They just don't make orcs like they used to. He understood that the other orcs had run - they were just orcs. But watching Gaversconne lead the three surviving black orcs in an all out rout depressed him. Sure, Gaversconne was an unrivalled plank, but he was still a black orc. Actually, if he was running, he probably wasn't. Half-orc pussy!

All the more depressing was that it looked like it would come down to him to sort it all out again. As usual.

"Right boys, its been a good scrap fer me. Coulda been better. Not so much for you lot, though. We'd have been all over this field if not for you lot running off like that." He waved a hand at the two orcs lying on the floor, connected as they were by a giant bolt. One was still twitching. "That's what running away gets you. As it stands, we're gonna have to go. But not before I get my Percolator."

"Let me tell you how its gonna be," he growled at the remaining two. "We're gonna get Percolator off Wineghum, right? If I gets there and look around me and you ain't right here next to me," - the imaginary spot he pointed at seemed very close to him - "I'm gonna find you. Then I'm gonna pull the bulgy bit outta yer throat. Then I'll take yer nuts in my fist and ram them so far up yer arses that they'll pop out where the bulgy bit was. Then I'll make yer swallow 'em through yer mouths. By doing that, I'll have made a noose around yer jaws, which I'll use to drag you sons-of-bitches all the way back to camp, where I'll skin what's left and stew the lot. Are we clear?"

The others swallowed, emphasising the sudden value of the bulgy bits in their throats. A nervous nod followed.

"Good. Move out!"

***

Magic Phase

You might remember this scene from the Wyemm Seeyay - a poor wizard, under pressure, fails their intelligence test because they don't many magic points. Poor Wineghum, suddenly feeling very small as he watches the Witch Elves flee past his position, loses concentration and fails to cast anything useful.

Actions

Thantsants:

W

Failed to cast, 5 MP remaining

Battle Navigator

Prologue 

Meet The Contestants

Rules and Deployment

Turn 1

Turn 2

Turn 3

Turn 4

Turn 5

Turn 6

Turn 7 (you are here)

Turn 8

Turn 9

Turn 10

Epilogue

Well both Gaj and I have started our narrative campaign set in the Border Princes...well on the border of the Border Princes down on the Blood River.  Gaj has started the narrative already and if you wish to read this then scroll back and you will find a filthy old drunk in a local tavern that will be more than happy to get you up to date.  Well for the price of a drink or three!

 

Anyway the first battle has been fought, and no doubt Gaj will write something about this sometime soon, unless I am supposed to do this.  I ought to check really.   Everyone is very busy doing all manner of “Oldhammer” related bits and pieces and we are being carried along on the general wave of enthusiasm.  In fact if the blogs are used to measure the activity then Oldhammer is very healthy indeed.  I am waffling now so back to the point of this entry.  Our campaign is going to be an ongoing project and part of this is introducing new armies to events when we get a chance.  My latest army project was completed today and will be joining Cornelius in his struggle against Gromeo.  This army is a Chaos Army based on the list in the Army List Book but has been given a very Nurgle theme. This is the army that I am planning on taking to Nottingham later this year and my ROC war band is going to be based on this as well.  I know and can hear some of you say “Nurgle.....I don’t recall him being invited!”  Well you are right but like an annoying relative Nurgle is coming to visit regardless.

 

Anyway here are some pictures of the army.  The miniatures are all Citadel some new, some old, with a lot of Mordheim chaps thrown in. 

Not a great photograph but here is the Champion.  'Bonyak'.  Also known as 'Bonyak the Scabby', 'Bonyak the liar', 'Bonyak the mangy bastard who broke his lance on the gates of Kislev'.  A reasonably capable Chaos Sorcerer.  (Note the eyes on the battle axe....it was supposed to indicate that the weapon was possessed unfortunately it looks like it is possessed by Spongebob Squarepants!!!)  Oh well I never claimed to be a great painter.....

Next....

Is my next character.....an as yet unnamed Chaos Centaur

Then we have....

A Troll

A Minotaur







 

 

A Cockatrice



 

Two Beastmasters with Chaos Hounds and one....

With a Chaos Spawn!

Bringing up the rear we have.....

Beastmen......

 

Thugs....

Then last but not least we have a gathering of Daemons (to be summoned during battle).



That's it for now.  Stop loitering here now......go and do something "Oldhammery"

Regards

Andre'









 

 

 

 

 

Gromeo: Sponsored by the gods of Chaos

***

"Hang on," Nurgle said. "There's someone at the door."

Nurgle lumbered through to the wide doors serving as the entrance to this instance of his reality, little pulses of rust flashing out wherever his vast bulk happened to touch. The door handles rusted away as he pulled the doors apart.

"Khorne! Glad you could make it! Come on in, come on in." Nurgle stepped aside, waving Khorne through to the lounge.

"Hey, dawgs," Khorne barked. "Khorne's here!"

"Heyyyy," grunted Tzeentch, an arm growing through his back to meet Khorne's fist bump.

"Woohoo," mumbled Slaanesh, his voice flat. He didn't look around.

Khorne waved a brown bag. "Got snacks too!"

"Let me guess - a bag of Skulls and some BLOOD longtoms, right?"

"A bag of Skulls and some BLOOD longtoms," Khorne mimicked in a high pitched voice, glaring at Slaanesh. "Yeah - Skulls and BLOOD - what did you bring?"

"C'mon guys - it doesn't have to be like this," Nurgle chimed, holding his hands up in placation.

"Actually, Khorne, the last time I brought something, I brought a bottle of wine distilled from the pure desperation of innocent death row inmates, infused with sixty times six blind girls' first crushes, filtered for a thousand and one years through the agony of losing a loved one through a heart attack whilst copulating. To accompany that, I made crisps taken from potatoes harvested from fields drenched in the tears of insurance salesmen who came second in their sales targets, so they didn't get the pearl handled golf clubs. The fire upon which those crisps were deep fried was fuelled with the passion of eighty thousand football fans seeing their team score the winning goal in the world cup. And I made a tzatziki dip. Well okay, I bought the dip - two for the price of one, I think it was. Anyway, you can see why I'm disappointed."

Khorne pulled a face and continued with the falsetto voice: "You can see why I'm disappointed." His voice returned to its characteristic growl. "Fag! Fine - don't have any BLOOD, more for the rest of us. You stick to your passion flavoured dish liquid or whatever the hell it is you just said. I should kick your arse right now!"

"Yeah, figures you'd want to touch my arse - you've ben eying me up ever since I was blasted into existence!"

"Guys, guys, guys!" Nurgle rumbled as he rolled his eyes. "This is getting childish now. Its always nice to catch up, but we got stuff to do. These CV's aren't going to read themselves. Khorne, why don't you get a bowl," Nurgle pointed to the kitchen," and put the Skulls on the table. There's a good god." Nurgle pulled a chair out and beckoned to Slaanesh, who grimaced and sat down. They always sat this way - Nurgle opposite Tzeentch, Khorne opposite Slaanesh. Otherwise they never got anything done.

Khorne returned, dropping a crumbling bowl covered in limescale and full of Skulls onto the table. Slaanesh frowned as he gingerly poked the bowl with a finger. "Don't you ever clean up, Nurgle?"

"S'no point," Nurgle replied through a mouthful of Skulls. "It just gets dirty again."

Slaanesh stared at the corpulent figure, who shrugged.

"Ssso," Tzeentch hissed, "these are the CV's." He distributed the bits of paper evenly and the four stopped talking as they scanned the words. The gods have many ways of receiving prayer - given that these were petitions for championship, they had agreed that a curriculum vitae format was appropriate. Three pages max - the gods are busy too, after all.

"Loser," Khorne mumbled as he crumpled the pages of the first one and tossed it over his shoulder.

"Same," Tzeentch copied Khorne and crumpled the paper.

"Hmmm...maybe some potential?" He leaned over and showed the CV to Slaanesh. Slaanesh quickly scanned the first few pages, but shook his head. Nurgle crumpled it up and tossed the ball of paper into his mouth, the little face in his tongue snapping it out of the air.

"This dude came up last time as well, didn't he?" Tzeentch said, pushing the CV to the middle of the table, "Bit desperate, don't you think?"

"Yeah. I hate desperation - it smells...weak," Khorne said.

"I love the smell of desperation," Slaanesh said, scooping up the paper and breathing deeply. "Aaah. Although - he's not very desperate. Rejected. Maybe next time."

The others shrugged and nodded. Eyes returned to CV's.

"This is interesting," Nurgle grunted, some time later. "Looks like a half-orc. Very sexual, by the looks of things - just up your alley, really," Nurgle said, offering the CV to Slaanesh.

"So?" Slaanesh asked, taking the CV.

Nurgle stuffed another fistfull of Skulls into his mouth. "Tell you what I like about that one - he's been spreading disease. Looks like he's been nailing a whole goblin tribe, right. One of the little buggers had Rongcrotch - nasty piece of work I put together a couple of hundred years ago when I was on holiday. Seems as though he's been spreading rongcrotch all over the place. And, you know orcs and goblins - they're big on pillaging and raping. He's taken out over five thousand of the creatures with just his little-"

"Gimme that," Khorne snapped, grabbing the paper from Slaanesh. "Look, he's only killed twenty two goblins with an axe. Guy's a grade A loser."

"Wow. Five thousand guys with his dick versus twenty two guys with his axe. Seems the penis is mightier than the sword, eh Khorne?"

"Shutup, fag! What do you know about swords anyway? Keep your fag champion!" Khorne hurled the  CV back at Slaanesh, the papers swooping up into the air before drifting gently down to the table.

Slaanesh chuckled as he picked up the papers. "Given that he is half an orc, I must commend him on his list of conquests. I like his style. I think we should take him on."

"Hang on - what's he asking for?" Tzeentch asked. "He must want something? Money? Eternal life? What's his deal?"

"Lets see here." Slaanesh looked over the pieces of paper, turning them over as he squinted at the text. It doesn't look like he's asking for anything. He doesn't actively worship any of us. It seems like he just... talks to himself a lot. But what he says, I like."

Nurgle nodded. "Yeah. I like it too. I bet if we offered, he'd come on board for sure."

Tzeentch shook his head. "It doesn't work that way. They've got to ask - you know that."

"I can't believe we're still talking about this loser!" Khorne cracked open another can of BLOOD.

Nurgle rubbed his chin whilst his eyes explored the ceiling. "Well - he does have rongcrotch - that'll kill him if he doesn't do something about it. I could up the symptoms for a while, if you like?"

Tzeentch frowned. "I don't like. It feels wrong. He's yours anyway - aren't they all if they get one of your illnesses?"

Nurgle nodded. "Hmmm...as much as I hate to admit it, I think you're right. Just this once - don't go getting ahead of yourself or anything."

Tzeentch rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Slaanesh neatly organised the CV's into a manageable pile, putting the one under discussion on top. "I dunno. I like this guy. And despite being forced to eat Skulls, I'm in a good mood today. I reckon he deserves a blessing, even if he doesn't ask for it.

"Go on then - what's his name?" Nurgle asked.

Slaanesh peered down at the paper. "Gromeo."

"Gromeo. Grrrrromeo." Nurgle scratched his chin again. "I like the sound of that. Great Green Gromeo. Okay - if you bless him I'll bless him."

"Whoa, hang on. Bird boy here says its a bad idea, so what gives?" Khorne spat, poking his finger at Tzeentch. "If you bless him, I'll curse him. Simple as that!"

Tzeentch aimed a sideways glance at Khorne. "Mutt face has a point. Personally, I don't care one way or the other, but tell you what - if you lot are going to do this, then I'll pop something of my own onto him too. Hows that sound?"

"It sounds ridiculous," Khorne said, rubbing his eyes. "And mutt face? C'mon Tee, you got something better than that, surely?"

Slaanesh looked at Nurgle. "You bless him, I bless him, he curses him and Tzeentch just does whatever he does. I can live with that."

Nurlge grinned at the others. "Yeah, I'll bet Gromeo can live with that too. I'll go first. He's already green, so that's a given, but I want him to be like me. I'll grant him Immensity."

Slaanesh nodded. "I'll make him a proper lady killer. I'll grant him Musk."

Khorne sighed. "He's a cock. I'll grant him Fear of Blood."

Tzeentch clicked his teeth in frustration. "It's always the same with you guys. You can do anything you want to and this is what you lot come up with? Fear of Blood? Really? I'll make up my own. Nurgle - I see your Immensity, and I raise you Enormously Fat. Slaanesh? Lady killer? Because he's so fat, he's going to find it hard to chase the ladies - it'll take him four times longer to walk somewhere than anyone else. Khorne? I like the fear of blood, but I'll twist that too. His own blood will be rich and powerful. He might not be able to stand the sight of the stuff, but I'll grant him Regenerate. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Deal!"

"Fine. Deal!"

***

Grom: famous special character for the orcs & goblins and leader of a regiment of renown.
Romeo: Romantic lead in Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet.

Gromeo: Epic punnery bringing some culture to the oldhammer movement and allowing the world of warhammer to experience the true madness of chaos.

So, as a realms of chaos character, lets discuss young Gromeo. The whole idea of Gromeo started when  I went to play Andre the first time. Basically (much like back in the day) I was trying to get every painted figure I had into the game. I had Grom sitting there and I realised that I could easily make a RoC character out of him. Thinking of a big fat green character immediately took me in the direction of Nurgle, which worked out really well, as it allowed me to take my undead in that army. So the first game of Warhammer 3rd ed. I played in many years happened to be a realms of chaos army too. In that instance, I rolled up a character in the truest sense of the word, with the only choice I made being to use an entry level goblin as the starting stat line. No surprises then when the muppet leading the army (this brave champion of chaos) ran off the table in the first turn!

But the idea stuck. Suddenly, I had a real use for my custom Grom. I still wanted to have a Grom as I had known him from the 4th edition: a ginormous, chariot riding, elf-hating, regenerating goblin lord. But now I also wanted that story to encompass Realms of Chaos. Hmmmm...

Unfortunately, the problem specifically with Realms of Chaos is that once you start modelling or painting characters to be dedicated to a certain deity, it makes it much harder for you to repurpose the model. I realise that any sane opponent would let you, but it just wouldn't feel right to me. So this makes it hard for me to commit one way or the other. Nurgle was also a little hard for me to adjust to, because whilst I like the concept and the figures and whole idea of Nurgle, I just don't like The Lost and the Damned. The book is the bastard child between 3rd ed. and 4th ed. and pretty much breaks the charm that 3rd ed. has. I like the line drawings in the earlier works and I don't like the overpowered list in LatD.

But I digress - the point is, as a goblin, I wanted to be able to use Gromeo elsewhere. How could I integrate him into a Slaanesh army? What about Khorne? Khorne already has goblins, so that's a plus, right? But then the idea of this crazy goblin Casanova spreading disease through his lusty pursuits crossed my mind. I love the idea of turning the current GW universe on its head and looking for the role playing roots of these games. Why are goblins these idiotic one-dimensional illiterate hobos living out in the wild? Why can't we have clever goblins, and well dressed goblins? Dare I say it? Sexy goblins? I took the same approach with Rogaine in Bridge Over the River Chai - orcs don't have to be stupid.

Anyway, so once you throw off the constraints of the background, well, the (read: your) world's your oyster, really.

So Gromeo was born. A corpulent goblin lover boy, spreading a deadly STD leading to the deaths of thousands.

As part of the campaign Andre and I are looking at - we discussed the 'lead' characters and how powerful they should be. In the end, we agreed that Gromeo should start at level 15 - this gives him credibility to lead, without making him ridiculous. The Half orc element is a not to Grom's ancestry in the Regiments of Renown.

I then decided that Gromeo would be a neutral champion - not dedicated to any of the gods in particular. This led to the idea that each of the gods might offer a little something to get him started. To this end, I did not take any marks (or their modifiers) but instead, elected to choose two blessings and to roll for two curses. I chose Musk (from Slaanesh) as the only plausible explanation of Gromeo being able to bed a female from any species. I took Immensity from Nurgle, well - I don't need to explain that one.

Initially, I rolled Irrational Fear of <colour> for Khorne's reward. I was happy with that, but when I was looking something up I came across the Fear of Blood attribute and the lure was just too great - it was the absolutely perfect curse from Khorne! Andre and I agreed to change it, so Gromeo is now terrified of blood. With Tzeentch, I rolled 'Create your own', which I basically interpreted as the perfect opportunity for me to create the Grom within Gromeo. So I added Enormously Fat, which basically bulked Gromeo out to be the absolute beefcake he is and I added Regenerate. To compensate, I then reduced his movement to 1. One thing I didn't realise is that with Enormously Fat, one also gets +1T, -1I - with Enormously Fat and Immensity, he ends up with T6 - something I might reduce, as that's a little much. Also, he has no chaos steed or weapons, as proposed by Orlygg in his warband creation method, so I'm happy that he's 'okay'. That said, he does have a chariot (which explains how the bugger gets around). The key thing with the toughness and the regeneration was to make sure that there was a lead character who had some staying power for the campaign. The Fear of Blood is an excellent limiter to this character, meaning he will most likely have to act like a proper general and stay out of the fight. We'll see.

So these are his stats:

	M	WS	BS	S	T	W	I	A	Ld	Int	Cl	WP
Level 15 Half Orc Hero	4	5	4	4	4	3	5	3	9+2	6	8+1	8+1
Stat Adjustments	x 0.25				+2		-2
Gromeo's Stat Line	1	5	4	4	6	3	3	3	9+2	6	8+1	8+1

Special Rules:

Reward (Nurgle)	Immensity	+1T, -1I (applied to stat line)
Reward (Slaanesh)	Musk	Any model within a 4" range must pass a WP test or move into base to base contact with Gromeo
Attribute (Khorne)	Fear of Blood	WP test if wound caused within 6", or unable to do anything for the rest of the turn
Attribute (Tzeentch)	Invent Your Own	Reward consists of the following:
	Enormously Fat	x0.5M, +1T, -1T (applied to stat line)
	Regenerate
	Half Movement	x0.5M (applied to stat line)