Sunday, 7 April 2013

Fuck. Me. Sideways.

It's not often you'll see me employ heavy duty expletives around here, especially in the title of the post. I try only swear for emphasis. Know, then, that what you are about to see will be difficult to absorb. I suggest you sit down.

So I've been pottering about with this 3rd edition warhammer malarkey for around two years now.

I started late, so I've had the misfortune of watching the The Great OOP eBay Inflation erode the collectors ability to, well, collect.

Even so, I've been quite pleased with the things I've collected so far. Given the financial, spacial and marital constraints under which I must work, having four OOP oldhammer armies (mostly unpainted, but you already knew that so don't ask!) which all feel as if they have enough figures to be playable armies.

Perhaps your story is similar? Perhaps you're thinking - given the age, rarity and cost of these things, actually, I'm a credible member of that bizarre 80's Citadel Only sub-culture that exists within Oldhammer.

Yeah. that's what I was thought too.

I've come across other sites where the collections are impressive. I know that there are some prolific collectors out there, but so far I've never had any real there's-no-point-in-continuing-because-I'll-never-match-that moments.

Until now.

Go! Go and see. I'll wait for you. Absorb the whole blog. It'll take you 10 minutes. I can wait.


Need a hug? Cleaned up your ejaculant?

There, there. You can still be a collecter, even if you have one OOP figure. It's not the size of the collection that counts.

But, if you want to be a collector, just know that, unless you commit murder*, your chances of owning 600 painted OOP 80s goblins are basically nil**. Owning that AND a fully-armed-and-operational painted Slann army? That is nil.

When I think of my own paltry goblin related efforts, progress of which I was planning to stage tomorrow, my mind is torn clean in half by the enormity of the fact that even when complete, they will only represent 10% of what I have just seen.

I'm going to go and sit in a corner, hold my knees and rock gently for a while. There will be incoherent mumbling.

*Not an advocate of this, by the way. Murder is a big no-no nowadays.

**And having just said that, I suppose a veritable legion of wealthy-beyond-my-wildest-dreams collectors shall come forth to prove me wrong and further shred my already tortured mind with their division strength collections...


  1. Can I join the emascualted Collectors Club too - the sight of so many Slann in one place has shown up the shabby back story I had in place for Gurgyll Greenwake's band of Slann Renegades for what it is - smoke and mirrors to disguise the fact that I only have around 30 odd Slann minis!

  2. I'm always amazed when I see the size of those kind of armies, I can only imagine the level of funding it must take nowadays to obtain that many OOP figures :(

  3. Great post made me smile ... but not nearly as much as the pictures. Wonderful stuff. When I see collections like that it is not so much that they have got it .... it's that they have got around to painting that much chuffing stuff.

  4. Yep it's the finding time to paint it all that does it. Those of us with big collections, most of the time haven't been flexing massive financial muscles we just never stopped collecting as kids and got onto ebay in the golden age like 8-10 years ago when 80's stuff was viewed as old rubbish by many sellers.

  5. With a pile of lead still to paint, I'm going to swear off collecting. No, really I am. Chasing round eBay, sniping during the last 10 seconds of job lot auctions ending at 2.30am just because I can see an Imperial Dwarf in the out-of-focus photograph. It's so... undignified.

  6. Me and Lee were best friends at school. We used to walk round the school grounds with imaginations running wild and talk of all the battles we would have. Our discussions drove my interest in the hobby. Without him I probably wouldnt still be doing it now.

    I remember us having games of Warhammer 3rd edition that would take all day and cover the entire living room floor with all our miniatures. His armies were always 10 times the size of mine. My wood elves hardly saw paint - his Goblin Massed Hordes all painted! I haven't spoken to Lee for absolutely ages - but would love to reconnect again.

  7. I remembered this blog post when I saw one a bit ago on my blog reader:

    At the bottom he mentioned selling off 1980s Warhammer armies which made me think of this post. Now, I'm not sure you're interested in 1980s undead or dwarves, but figured I would try to help two bloggers I like out and point one to the other. ^.~